funny how the most simple books can really open your eyes and see life and everything around you in a new and different perspective. i read this book that taught many morals. and its morals my mom has always taught me and shown me and i read things i never thought about. i read things that it almost sounded like they were talking about me... and it were bad qualities about myself. things that are deep deep within my self. and after i read this book i sat there in bed thinking about life. i had a very deep thought. and very deep aspirations and goals i promised myself to change.

i read another book that made me feel so stupid. made me regret so much shit i've done. and i know its terrible to regret. but i let myself regret. know the feeling of regret and let that feeling go. i couldn't help myself but regret i guess.. and i just couldn't believe it. all the things i already knew but was just too naive to truly believe or better yet WANT to believe. but i've finally accepted the facts. and its made things so much easier. its making MY life so much easier. its making my FUTURE easier. its going to be making my next experience easier.


i've had alot of heartfelt talks as well the past couple weeks. and with these heartfelt talks i've read some very good books. and i feel so much more at peace. i don't know somethings just different.. deep down i feel it. and i can feel it rid of my soul. life is so amazing this way. through life we do not change really. we grow older, we have more responsibilities we need to take care of which make us seem more mature, but in reality we really aren't THAT much different. we still are pretty much the same people we were five, ten, or maybe even twenty years ago. we like the same things, hate the same things, are attracted to the same things. nothing changes really but our outter appearance, but what changes is the fact that we become wiser. and either we use this wisdom or we stay the same person we always have been. and i'm choosing to continue to use my wisdom in bettering the person that i am.

i will live my life in all ways that make me happy and those that i love happy.