anonymous

its funny to wonder who will be the one for you. and if there is such thing as the one. and sometimes you ask yourself "where is he/she" and you wonder if that person is somebody you've already met but you're selfish antics always wanting more and wanting better gets in the way of realizing this. striving for the best is always something we lived by but if we can't ever settle with what we find as "the best" then whats the point of constantly striving for better if that better is infront of your face. does this even make sense? i honestly don't even know what the fuck i'm looking for in life anymore. i'm not even looking to be completely honest. i don't know what it is. i'm starting to wonder if that one person for me was somebody i've already had but threw them away because i was being a human and wanted better. eh regardless we do things for a reason. and i don't regret any of the decisions i've made in the past because they all shape out my present and my future day by day. and i'm happy where i'm at. my life is so much grander. but its weird how i say this isn't it? and how i wonder if i did get rid of "the one". too be completely honest. i don't htink the timing was right. i need this time right now for myself. and honestly... through my teenage years. the timing has never been more perfect for me. and i am so grateful that as unstable my life was at one point. it was all worth it in the end to end up like this. to be at the point that i am at. :]


anyways i posted one of these anonymous blogs. try and guess who you are and leave a comment. you don't have to be a member of blogspot you can type in just your name or anonymous or whatever and leave a comment. so do it. and see if you can figure these numbers out!

1. i miss what we had. when friendship was good enough to hold us together. when shit never went bad. when we were too young to even know what was ahead of us. i miss you being that friend for me. things change and friendships change. i just wish it wouldn't have had to been you.

2. i still want you in my life. but i can't have you in my life cuz i don't know if its right. not for me but for you. i don't want to make things harder then it already is. as much as our time isn't right, right now. i do still want you back in my life. and i just hate to say that the time isn't right because it sounds like an excuse i'm using but its not. we have alot to go through. alot to grow up. and we have to do that individually. i'm so sorry for everything. i still love and care for you. and there really is no way that could ever stop.

3. i don't know why i can't stand you anymore. you creep me out. and i just want you to admit youre feelings towards me so i can just finally tell you that its not happening and it never will. but i know you're too shy. but i put all the pieces together and they all just fit. i know what you're intenions were all along and i wish i never got that close to you. but thats why i am straying from the friendship. its not right. as much as you've been there for me. i wish i wasn't so stupid awile ago.

4. you are my best friend. beyond words. and you broke my heart years ago. but i have learned to have the greatest respect for you through out the years. i'll always be there for you and i know you will always be there for me in return. we got this connection that nobody else really knows. but no matter what through thick and thin you will always be my best friend. i wish for the best for you in your life. and you get everything you've ever dreamed and hoped for! you deserve ittt. you really do.

5. you were supposed to be my best friend but i'm worried about whats to come in the near future. i'm sorry. i didn't think it'd bother that much. i don't know what to say about it really. but i think you feel the same way.

6. i've barely known you for not too long but its crazy how its so easy to get to know a person in such a short period of time. as much as i hate to admit this you were my escape goat. and i wish just one thing. and if i say that one thing it'll give all of this away. but all i can say is that you have an amazing personality. and i wish i could meet more people like you. honestly when i say this it is true. this world really does need alot more people like you. you're quite the character though. and if there were more you's, then you wouldn't be as special to me. :]

7. i miss you more then anything! but i know that time will never break us. because when we do talk its like nothing has ever changed. all smiles baby. i love you so much and i hope your life will be absolutely AMAZING and you get everything you want! and the number one guy! you deserve it all

8. as much as people say you've changed. i still see the same you. bitch.

9. your friendship is one of a kind. and although we rarely talk. and literally live two completely different lives. i love you nonetheless. i don't know what it is about you but i like it and i always have. your friendship is one that i think everybody should experience. thanks for everything. through all the times from freshman year to sophmore year in high school. i'll never forget you.

10. i think your pathetic cries for help is you just striving for the attention you want in your life. grow the fuck up. and stop blaming others for your problem. deal with it. grow some balls. piece of shit. oh and stop throwing your problems on other people. you're so ridiculous. i wish i could talk to you and knock some fucking sense into you but you're dumb ass probably couldn't comprehend it and try and kill me or yourself. as always. you're so immature.

11. over the years i have grown to have so much respect for you. i love your presence! its amazing. others may not understand you. but i understand you 100% i see and understand the way your brain works and other people don't understand us. hahahaha. i love you so much. thank you for everything. through the talks, the cigarettes, the hospitality at your home, going out to eat dinner, coming over, making us all laugh, all the advice you've given me and being the coolest and most bad ass fucking aunt!

12. if i didn't get your friend i would have chosen you. oops.

13. i don't know why you lie to all of us. or better yet. create lies to fabricate your life to make it seem so much better then ours. or even pretend that you're going to some grand school and live the hollywood dream. and only to find that it was all bullshit you were telling us. but i won't confront you about it cuz theres no point. you'll act like a deer in headlights. i don't know why you are like that. do you think you're better then us because you can make up lies that aren't even true about yourself? only to boost your self esteem up? i wish you were just honest. it'd make it so much easier to believe the shit that comes out of your mouth.

14. you have no fucking idea what you do to me. HAHA. you are by far the only person who has ever made me feel like i couldn't really talk or act myself around you. i don't know why. but you make me fucking nervous as hell in a way. as much as i don't ever show it. you do make me feel that way and i don't know what it is about you. maybe its your demeanor. and you have no idea how fucking long i've been waiting for that. and i think i want to do it again?

15. i am going to write a second thing about you here. and you can try and guess who you are. but i just wish you came home along time ago because then maybe things would have been the way they were supposed to be and i hate to admit this but you really were just too late. and i mean this with every inch of my fucking body.