wow

as much as i was hating life today. i needed this. i gave it a try. and this was my time to say the truth. and i was too late. and its okay. because its clear that it wasnt meant to be. i couldn't have done it yestrday or the day before or even a week ago. today was my day to do what i had to do. fix what i could. and what i tried to fix could not be fixed. so this is it. but for the first time. i felt hurt, betrayed, heart broken, relief, confidence, and strength. i have learned more then i could from him. and its from here i take what i learned and go. i will find my peace. and i will find home once again. i need to get used to doing things out of the ordinary. things i'm not used too. its hard being a girl and feeling "safe" all the time. but its time for me to really adventure and explore. i have a few plans. i'm actually thinking about joining the air force and fly a jet and go to school. but i have so many plans for myself. i'm so happy. i'm excited for my life to really begin! college is coming up. and i get to finally do what NEEDS to be done. get my life started. move out. live on my own. travel. i want to take a road trip to san francisco. go to new york. first... i need to get a job. my aunts bank is hiring soon and i'm going to be making 15$ an hour plus commission. and i work 40 hours a week. this is all so good for me.



i think today had to happen. everything happens for a reason. and i will find the true meaning of peace. :]