happy birthday jb!!

so today was my best friend jbs birthday. and it was a gooood day :] i had a good reunion and get together with everybody. ate some bomb ass food. kicked it. watched all the friends play a softball game at big league dreams then went back to jbs house and drank with everybody. all the parents family members close friends were all there. i think the saddest part was when we made a toast to jon (a friend who passed away and to the other people i was with, jon was a brother, cousin, best friend, a nephew, son, and grandson. remember family members were at jbs house) and i dont know... it hit me... why does this whole death bullshit keep happening. i've lost like 4-5 friends since high school started. and i still dont really get it. i coudlnt even stay for the toast to long cuz the room just got really sad and i had to get out. i couldn't think about it too hard cuz when i do.. i end up feeling guilty about things... losing kevin was one of the worst things i've ever experienced.. and losing jon was terrible. just look at his brother (whose my friend) and his cousins whose also my friends. and just to see them cry from losing somebody but not anybody, some one whose related by BLOOD. i dont get it. and when i look at them and see the sorrow in their eyes when the very name is broughten up. it makes my heart just ache. it makes me want to give them a humongous hug but i know it wont do. losing family. fuck. its the worst thing. but this family (they are filipinos which means they are all VERY VERY close) it makes my heart ache for them more so then my heart aching because i lost a friend. and i think thats what makes me cry.. anyways i'm over this post.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JB AND JON.. I MISS YOU. THROW IT UP TO 22!!!!