holy shit i can't believe we are already in febuary!! its insane how fast time goes by. and soon enough my 18th is coming up then i'm graduating from high school. life lately has been filled with crazy insane emotions. sometimes i don't know where it even comes from. probably my stupid hormonal contraceptives. i fucking hate it and sometimes i hate to blame it on the birth control cause truth is... it probably is just me being a crazy emotional unbalanced fuck. i hate when i get this way too. its very random when i get it too i just feel bad cause i let it all out on austin. but he understands. and i'm so glad things between us are so fantastic. before when we argued oh jesus it would be insane. but he finally got it. and i'm still getting it. i feel so behind cause i feel like now he's trying so hard to make me happy and not argue yet i keep going on. how annoying for him. but he loves me regardless :D and i'm so thankful for that. i love him so much. more then i could have ever imagined possible. and even through all the bullshit its like... we finally grew up. and its a wonderful feeling. and sometimes i feel like i'm being the childish one. its weird but whatever i am a girl still. HAHA how sad. blaming it on everything else but me. lol.

austins birthday is coming up next week!!! how exciting i have this whole plan set out for him its going to be awesome! i would put it on here but he might possibly read this :D xP but i will post pictures next week when the event comes. its funny how his birthday is on valentines day. so cute. and omg look at how cute this text from him is!!!!!!!!!! :
"No lisa i love you more then i did before. lisa the more and more we spend time with eachother its like a whole new different day. and thats a new opportunity to make it better. theres not one day where i don't think about you lisa. you make my days so much better so much happier and even if youre mean or we get into a fight, that happiness is still there and no matter what i say or act, my love will never fail for you. and i know this, you have my heart and i can't take it back.and i know this lisa deep down inside. i know you have my heart and soul."

i didn't even know what to say when i read that. i love you austin. and i know you already know this but baby i don't think i could ever let you go. even if i tried. <3

i just got this new book and i'm hoping it'll be good


omg and check out my new tongue ring my aunt gave me!! HAHAH she gave me some crazier ones too shits so funny. makes me laugh. and yes my AUNT. shes a mother fucking G. the two balls are actually a really pretty blueish silver.


i think i really really hate it when i lose touch with friends but i feel like everybody is doing there own thing now. and people don't really hit me up and most of the time its me hitting them up. or they only hit me up when they are in a crisis the only people that actually do hit me up is probably my second family and thats about it. the rest... i don't know whats going on. i miss alot of my friends. god damnit.